When was the last time you checked YOUR thoughts? You heard me…but, to clarify, I actually meant thought about your own thoughts. And not just ‘what do I need to do on my way home from picking up the kids’, but your constant thought stream that goes on in that thick skull of yours. 90% of people, especially stressed out teenagers, busy moms and parents, and even CEOs go about their day, just plugging along from one thing to the next, never realizing there is a constant commentary going on in the background. I’m talking about that constant chattering voice in your head! Yes, I’m talking to YOU because we all do it! You have probably become so used to it that you don’t pay any attention to it anymore, but you SHOULD!!
Now, there are exceptions to this phenomenon too, there are people who have very loud voices, demanding voices or constant chatter that they can’t turn off (for help with demanding voices please reach out). Those are not what I am referring to right now, I am talking about the typical running commentary that happens as you go through your endless days as a student, manager, busy working mom or single mom. Did you know that in the same way that your body automatically remembers to breathe, beat and blink for you that your brain also narrates and directs your every move? The purpose of telling you this is to make you more aware so you can manage your thoughts and help you to be a more peaceful parent, student or employee. I want you to be aware that it is happening and take a minute to reflect on what your typical commentary is on a daily basis.
Can you hear it nagging at you? ‘What did you do that for?’, ‘You are such a loser!’, ‘OMG, what am I doing?’, ‘Why did I just say/do/eat that?’…and on, and on, all day long. So what is the point of thinking about our thinking? Well, if you are like the majority of the population, we are actually self-sabotaging and self-deprecating most of the time and we need to STOP IT!
Would you allow someone to tell your child, or friend, or introverted teenager ‘you’re too quiet’, ‘you suck’, ‘you are such a loser’, ‘you look disgusting’, ‘you are such an idiot’ or that ‘nobody wants to hear you talk,’ etc.? NO WAY! You would want to find the nearest muzzle, strap it on, and slap a lock on it until those bullies could learn to be nice, am I right?? So WHY do you allow yourself to talk to YOU like that?! I’ll tell you why: Because you have never paid attention to the fact that you actually DO THAT. That is what I am here to tell you as a mother who knows best: Knock it off!!! (Okay…you’re right, I can be nicer than that too:). My point is: Please don’t beat yourself up and put yourself down anymore!
Another reason people do this is because that is the language that they heard growing up or they have done it for so long they are conditioned to keep doing it. When other people tell you those things you start to believe them, and when they aren’t around to berate you themselves, you do it for them. What’s sad is you start to believe those things are true too. I am here to tell you they ARE NOT TRUE! You are important, worthy and capable JUST as you are…You are a good mother, daughter, son, person! And I can prove it!
Check out these stats: 730,000,000,000:1. Those are some STEEP odds! The confluence of events and conditions that have to occur to even conceive a baby are CrAzY, but the miracle that all those cells came together and split in just the right way to make the human that is specifically YOU is INSANE!!! But THAT is what happened. So who do you think you are to believe that YOU are not special and worthy of being kind to yourself?? After all that effort to give you the chance to literally walk this earth, breathe the oxygen that you do, have the relationships and connections that you have, and make the decisions that your are making on your motherhood mission or personal quest are you starting to realize maybe it is time that you, at the very least, can stop beating yourself up for making a mistake once in a while??
Here’s the deal, I know it is hard to see other people, teenagers and parents seeming to ‘have it all’ and then we compare their lives and parenting styles to ours, but when you take a step back and realize that the ONLY life you have any say about is yours (and any children you may have)! So WHY waste it beating yourself up over that test, failed relationship, money issues, lost game, or regretting motherhood or wondering if you’re a good mother? Why not take every opportunity to build up your life, make it enjoyable, motivate yourself to do what makes you happy, stand up for yourself and treat being a student, caregiver or mother with the respect that it deserves??? I’ll tell you why…because you have never considered doing it before! You haven’t been aware enough to actually catch yourself in the act and stop or you haven’t found the necessary thoughts and beliefs to turn around all that negative conditioning. If any of those are the case please take action! And if you need someone to show you HOW you are in the right place! I help moms, tweens, teens and young adults who feel unworthy and stuck to gain confidence and self assurance so they can be the best version of themselves and live happier, more authentic lives. If you want that too visit: www.lisawoodford.com/contact and let’s chat about it! Don’t worry, I have your back 🙂
Coach Lisa Woodford